KTVU Apologizes for Being Pathetic

When news reporters are the headlines it’s never good for the media. This reporter is stunned that such shoddy reporting could not only reach all the way to news anchor, not only get unnoticed as reported by the anchor, but also ruin what would have been a great post to be written by myself. Announced on air that pilots names spelled phonetic phrases like “something wrong” and “we too low,” the news cast quickly went viral as a case of good joke turned bad. While the “Not Really News Blog” salutes good joke writing, it stands by its views that such jokes should be left to professionals and, clearly, the story writer crossed trade lines. You don’t see me stealing Jon Stewart’s Jewish material do you? Or writing Shakespeare? Clearly in a case where three people died and 180 were injured the trade standard is give it a few days before joke cracking. Please take you KTVU amateurs, you have standards to uphold in this world. The NTSB (which oversees something and shares overseeing it with the TSA and several other ABC gangs. My research seems to lead to the NTSB as standing for “Not Too Shabby Baby” whatever that means), has stated a “summer intern” confirmed, but did not invent, the names erroneously to the news station. The “intern” feels terrible for having public relations responsibilities for a major government ABC gang type body, it won’t happen again (at least until next summer).

This reporter did contact the Asiana Airlines and was able to conduct a phone interview with one of the airline’s technicians in charge of plane inspection. Wing Bak On stated that the plane was cleared for trans-oceanic flight and was in immaculate condition. “The plane got there. My job was good. Those scratches won’t buff out easily though,” he said through a translator. It is obvious by his directness that there may be some tension within the airline that was not made any easier by the news anchor gaff. KTVU has made it a priority to become more informed in Asian culture and even hired a Chinese native to check the integrity of all Far East stories. It has been announced that the new head of Asian Quality Control Department, Mi No Ly begins her new job on Monday. It’s good to see some positive progress come out of a terrible tragedy.

UPDATE 7/14/13: With more news hitting the airwaves warning that the Asiana may take action over the mistaken release of offensive fake names the above article has been amended to reflect a more racially neutral and less funny stance that is less sue worthy as well. This reporter may be loved but he is poor.

UPDATE: This reporter has decided to stand his ground against the gang of evil lawyers spreading censorship and hate. (He also did the math and realized he doesn’t own enough to be sued for anything anyway.) Stand strong reader(s) the Not Really News Blog is here for you.

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