The competition amongst fast food chains is always a dog fight but a startling new trend has surfaced in logo redesigns lately- gang signs. In Wendy’s first new logo in almost thirty years, the word “MOM” appears to be spelled out in the ruffles of her neckline. Now this could be: A) a total accident, B) a hidden homage to the founder’s daughter C) a cryptic message to Wendy’s gangland enforcers “Westside Wendy’s.” It doesn’t sound scary, at first, when one pictures a herd of red haired, frosty packing little girls roaming the inner city streets looking to product a brand. But the deeper reality is people kill over these things, authorities are now re-examining Aaron Hernandez’s tattoos for the word “MOM.” But this reporter broke the real code. When you turn the image upside down, it says “WOW,” and THAT’S where things get ugly. “WOW” is an acronym for “War on World,” according to gang expert MC Donald. “WOW is literally a signal to start bustin’ caps, yo. Homies be like, we gunna kick ass and make burgers- and we be all outta buns, yo.” Startling discoveries in the land of the square patty.
Another source discredits MC Donald, renowned inner city social worker Snap Dawg says, “actually it is the inverse of the suggestion made by my esteemed colleague. WOW is often correlated with the labor movement, a pressing subject for many lower income people. It actually stands for ‘Walk on Wal-Mart’ and reflects the desire of these youth to hold better paying jobs by demonstrating against those employers they consider to be taking advantage of their social station. It is all very Marxish and is a sociological lesson on not being able to oppress large groups of people within an area.”
Well of course it does. But that makes for terrible news so we’ll relegate that quote to filler material. Now Wendy’s isn’t the only company found to be hiding things within their logos. For example, Baskin-Robbins has a “31”hidden within theirs. It doesn’t take much thinking before it becomes clear to this reporter that such a figure can only represent the number of people who actually pass by chic “self-serve frozen-yogurt shops with a bazillion kinds of toppings for just $8.49 an ounce” and actually eat frozen hard ice cream. However, it could also be the number of frosties that have been capped by employees this month, who knows, gang signs are tricky and often meant to blend in.
Stay strong reader(s), law enforcement is now searching Aaron Hernandez’s tattoos for anything that may be “MOM or WOW.” So far all they’ve found is “M” on each butt cheek, Which maybe a tribute to his favorite candy, M&Ms or it may be more. What do you think?
And now a Google search image of the Wendy’s scandal:
Pretty tough to refute that…