Reuters: U.S. directs agents to cover up program used to investigate Americans. Obama blames leak on Roosevelt.

In what is sure to be a shock to anyone who has ever has ever wondered if the US government is honest with its citizens, the answer is most likely… no. In yet another homeland spying revelation, it has been revealed that, “a secretive U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration unit is funneling information from intelligence intercepts, wiretaps, informants and a massive database of telephone records to authorities across the nation to help them launch criminal investigations of Americans.” There is no doubt that such a program could protect countless lives through stopping crime before it’s committed, however, where do we, as American citizens, draw the line on this widespread spying? Furthermore, if the article is correct about agents lying to judges and other law enforcement, it undermines any chance of our government being held accountable by anyone. More and more this reporter is becoming grateful that no one ever reads anything he writes, being ignored is safety in these Orwellian times. The DEA created within itself a super-secret club known as SOD, which is clearly a nod to the trend setting, always controversial 80s spin-off band Stormtroopers of Death.

While it is often stated by the media that they would love to be the “fly on the wall” in Mr. Obama’s office during these times when so many scandals break, your fearless newsman finds it much better to just know the guy who mops the Oval Office floors. Speaking on condition of anonymity, because janitors are often fired for sharing with the media, our spy Ed states that Mr. Obama is livid that someone would dare to spy on the American people and not share those results with him directly. Mr. “Your Freedom to Speak is My Freedom to Listen Whether You Know it or Not©” Obama asked his right hand man, Eric Holder, to look into it but was apparently told ” Sorry sir, but we don’t talk about SOD. It was in the memo.” To which Mr. Obama replied,”Damn that FDR.” We don’t know what that means. Reuters was kind enough to enclose a copy of the memo:

Yes folks even the MEMO was redacted. That’s the real deal right there. Not only can you not talk about it, but you can know what you aren’t supposed to talk about, you just don’t do it. However, TNRNB has been told that IF you do accidently talk about it, whatever it is, Russia will give a place to stay within their airport until you are important enough to be given asylum. Important enough seems to mean: “We won’t attend your Olympic Games which transcend politics. We are taking our ball and staying home.” No one wants to be responsible for bringing politics into the Olympics (except our politicians) so just don’t talk about it. Stay fearless reader(s), now the entire government knows no one reads this blog.

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