Ask Dr. Steve (or don’t I’ll make them up if I have to)- 8/9/13

Dear great and most esteemed Dr. Steve,

I think I might need a head doctor. I often find my mind drifting…. thinking of all the ways I can destroy my computer. Right now it’s a toss up. Slather honey on it and put it on an ant hill or throw it off of the Lewis and Clark Bridge.

Signed,

A lover of owls

Hey Bob,

And here I was thinking that my psychology degree was pretty useless. Often times, when we are frustrated it is due to actual feelings of helplessness. Being in a situation you have no control over is never fun, and when it snow balls across other responsibilities it can have a huge effect on your psyche. I recommend getting away from it all for a few days, go camping or hiking. When I was growing up with the pheasants and times were tough, we would eat the parasites off each other. The combination of no longer having such parasites coupled with knowing you’re helping someone out is a great way to shed all that stress. Another way is retaliation, I believe certain members of a place that may employ you turned down a recent proposal of mine, hence forth it is within my realm of thinking that you are justified if you decide to firebomb the entire place and urinate on the ashes. But try the other steps first. We wouldn’t want to be hasty.

Dear Dr. Steve,

My wife hates me, my daughter is pregnant, the dog just sh#t in my shoe, and my car is broke down so I’ll probably get fired tomorrow when I can’t make it to work. What else could possibly go wrong? It just seems like everywhere I look is gloomy and doomy. I hate my life.

Signed,

Never wanted that dog

Dear Wanted,

The Yankees have lost four straight and are eleven games behind Boston, Jerry Jones still owns the Cowboys, and the polar ice caps are melting. You are right, life sucks. Why do I even try? Stop by, I’ll make some Kool-Aid.

Dear Dr. Steve,

Rumor has it that Obama is spying on everything we do. Is it even safe for you to write the cutting edge material you do? What if the government decides you’ve said too much?

Sincerely,

Worried about your safety

Dear Safety,

If you could see the stats on this blog, you wouldn’t be worried about me. Trust me, NO ONE, is reading it, especially the government. I’ve got to get better keywords so they can find me. Like ObamaisagunlovingfoolwhoruinedthepriceofgunslikeBarrettJacksondidcars or OneofthesedayssomeonewillarrestmesoIllbefamous until it get those, I’m perfectly safe.

Thanks again loyal reader(s) for a wonderful week of questions. Okay, I’m lying you didn’t send me any. But someday you will. Send all questions, comments and words of adoration to stevekallio73@fmail.com or on Twitter to @steve_kallio.

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2 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Steve (or don’t I’ll make them up if I have to)- 8/9/13

  1. If you could see the stats on this blog, you wouldn’t be worried about me. Trust me, NO ONE, is reading it, especially the government. I’ve got to get better keywords so they can find me.

    I really laughed. Out loud. Right there with ya…

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