As TNRNB reader(s) are well aware, this reporter HATES to use The Blog for self-promotion of any kind, but since the sampler of my future work of literary genius was released this morning, the reviews have been pouring in (my head). I felt it was only right to share some these reviews with the people who make this site such a stark raving success and a leader amongst quickly written posts that go largely ignored. Not just anyone can say that folks. I’ve trimmed the list to spare bandwidth as the reviews are numerous and, at times, lengthy. Read on faithful followers and bask in our shared dominance of all things pheasant.
“…who the hell is stupid enough to be pooped on by the same bird for three months?” – The Oregonian
“I bask in the light of my iPad while in the outhouse. It’s shame you can’t wipe with an e-book or this one would have a use.”- The Montana Sheep Wrapper
“Bring me this Phineas. I will make him a General just for pooping on him”- Kim Jong-Un, North Korean’s tiny dictator of doom
“If I was a pheasant, I’d look like Phineas too. And I, too, would poop on him. We could come together as pop on him as one”- Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States
“We’ll still take him… after he showers.” – Vladimir Putin, President of Russia
“I wish to be the gravel that hit him in the face.”- Allah (I have to admit, I feel pretty special for receiving divine reviews)
“Why can’t we poop on him too?”- The TNRNB carrier pigeon squadron
And my personal favorite:
“We wish to burn Mr. Kallio’s house to the ground and then have him publically drawn and quartered for, not only his interference with the mating cycle of this pheasant couple and also for the blockage of all that fertilizer that could have promoting growth for the grass that people should actually eat. We ask that all celebrities pose naked three times this month in defiance of this man’s sick personal agenda. Ring-necked pheasants are a vital part of the ecosystem and beautiful to behold in their native environment. We hop he burns in Hell for an eternity, or forever, whichever is the longest.”- PETA
While it seems that most of the attention was Phineas’ little shenanigans, I feel that we’ve made a splash amongst the hoity-toity circles of the literary world. Please leave a comment here or on the original post with your own review. Communication is a vital part of the writing process. Especially if you say something that I can work into the book. That makes for less thinking on my part.