A behind the scenes look at the government shutdown

As the inspiration for all of Ignorami-kind flex their collective wings, 800,000 people are out of work. A government shutdown became unavoidable as Senate Democrats and House Republicans once again prove that ideology is far more important than doing their job. Fundamentalist politics are the only thing to rule from Washington, D.C. today though, and we here at The Blog have secured the transcripts of a little known conversation between Senate kingpin Harry Reid (D-Nevada) and House thug John Boehner just minutes before they failed our poor, poor, leaderless country. At first it seemed that these two sides could put aside their fundamentalist ways to agree on a budget and hash out the little things later, but that was not to be. Republicans twice delivered budgets laced with Obamacare, which is a poison pill to anything it touches, and those bills died like the unfortunates who have to enroll in it. And now, brought to you by an anonymous source who’s probably eating out of a garbage can as we speak, “The Convo.” John Boehner: Look Reidy we know that you don’t want your 47% of the nation to go hungry, and we know that you know we hate Obamacare- give us credit for being subtle about it though- so let’s make a deal Harry Reid: Look Boehner-breath, this is a budget, not a referendum and we just want to talk money. Money in. Money out. Comprende? JB: I hear ya. So what I’m thinking is, we’ll raise the debt ceiling and pay the bills if you guys get rid of Obamacare. HR: Just the bills Boehner, just the bills. You try to send us anything with Obamacare in it and we’ll send it flying back in your face faster than Romney’s binders full of women. Or an Anthony Weiner response text. JB: Listen Hair-ball, the people have spoken, Obamacare is killing innocent immigrant children as we speak. They need food, man. Tell you what, I’m a reasonable guy, we’ll do a six week budget and delay the Death Panels for a year. Deal? HR: No JB: No? What are you some kind of Jimmy Carter wannabe? Sign the paper man HR: No JB: so we shut down the government and put hundreds of thousands of people out of work, starve the elderly, and put the nation into another recession? HR: I guess so. Hey, we still get paid right? JB: I believe so. HR: OK see you tomorrow. We tried. JB: Yep. At least we tried. Stay strong fearless reader(s), TNRNB will follow up with an in-depth, informative article, that no one will read, providing insight into what a government shutdown really means for the common man.

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