Shame! Beast Caught In Specialty Shampoo Aisle.

Recently, a story broke about a fairy tale episode in a Walgreen’s and this reporter was given the opportunity to guest blog the story over on the Grimm Report. it was a proud day for TNRNB and a new perspective has been reached. Enjoy fearless reader(s), we extended our reach.

The Grimm Report

Shampoo

A Special Report By Grimm Report Chief Hygiene Correspondent, Steve Kallio
stevekallio73.wordpress.com |@steve_kallio

LAFAYETTE, LA– Trouble has been spotted today in the land of opposites attracting. A store clerk at Walgreens was stocking the shampoos, when a very large and hairy man-creature approached asking for a bottle of extra strength specialty shampoo. Then he whispered into the clerk’s ear. As luck would have it, his wife Belle had walked in for a jar of facial cream just as the clerk was passing the bottle over, according to a witness who spoke on condition of anonymity.

“Beast!!! Whatever could you need such a thing for? We’ve already applied your monthly dose of Advantix II. You should even repel mosquitos by now. Let me see that,“ Belle reportedly cried.

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The Zimmerman jury sequestration that wasn’t

Proving sequestering, like a federal filibuster, isn’t what it used to be ,the jurors in the George Zimmerman murder trial were allowed to go bowling and shop at the mall. They were also allowed to go to the Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Museum where they were undoubtedly an exhibit. In a trial that made waves in just about every way possible, from racial tension to racial confusion to the fact that it ever existed at all, the idea that a jury for a reasonably short trial (for its kind) could cost over $30,000 might be the penultimate head scratcher.

This reporter may not be a judicial expert but it seems that sequestering means to “lock away,” not “send out to remake “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.” A trial of overwhelming media saturation would seem to call for a tightly guarded jury in any state but Florida. This would appear to open the door for a multitude of appeals and potentially threaten Juror B37’s book deal. Now how is that fair to “judiciary capitalism®.” It is mind-boggling, and more than a little comforting, that a juror’s own actions could screw her out of millions for all six pages of her story. But the world will never know what was truly discussed in that jury room- not unless the world wants to stitch the hundreds of interviews, news reports, blog posts, and satirical snobbery that will flow over the next two weeks.

However, thanks to several high profile cases lately, Florida is in the running for most true crime novels, biographies, and (my favorite) unauthorized biographies. In fact, borrowing a punch line for the comic strip “Get Fuzzy,” Florida may soon break the record for the most unauthorized auto-biographies. This reporter isn’t complaining folks, after all this is what keeps him busy, makes him the big bucks, brings in the bacon, lets him forget he isn’t getting paid a dime for this. I can already see that huge ad for Nike or Microsoft, maybe even Wal-Mart, but more than likely- Uncle Bill’s Fried Wiener Bits: The wiener with a crunch. Don’t mock it, everything started somewhere. We’ll get there. TNRNB and Uncle Bill’s may end up being the greatest partnership since Watson and Crick or Gates and Paul Allen or Phil Knight and China. Great things come to those who are in the right place at the right time not those who really put effort into anything, which is why I do almost no fact checking so I can fit in. Stay strong faithful reader(s), maybe you,’ll get an all-expense paid jury duty vacation sometime soon.

Breaking News: Major League Baseball to suspend ARod, Braun, and up to 20 others

updated

The not really news blog

Update 7/16/13:

The players union has publicly stated that suspensions for any players caught up in the Biogenesis mess will not be executed swiftly. There will also be discussion pertaining to whether players will be named publicly as suspended (since no one will notice Braun or Arod missing anyway). If suspensions go to arbitration it will likely be next season before anyone serves time, further clouding any contract negotiations these cheaters have. When asked for comment Lance Armstrong stated, “I think this can drag out until well after these guys retire.” Stay strong readers it’s only just beginning.

ESPN claims sources have revealed that Commissioner Bud Selig will act on testimony coerced from Biogenesis founder Tony Bosch to suspend players linked to a clinic that was being sued by MLB for “not playing nice™.” Said suit was immediately dropped when Bosch agreed to become MLB’s one and only witness…

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Welcome to my world (Yes, Yes, and an additional/bonus Yes)

Yes, I’ve created a new blog. Yes, this one should stick around.

It has come to my attention that my opinion, delivered in my humble, straight forward and unique style, is in fairly limited quality in the digital world outside of Facebook. Here,we shall explore many of the serious topics the media bombards us with daily, without all the seriousness. I’ll do my best to post breaking news in the world of sports, politics, local, national, and world news in addition to in-depth coverage of the topics that matter to my devoted followers the most.  So subscribe (or whatever it is you do with these things) and enter the world of news, delivered through the only filter that matters, my brain. 

 

Yes!!!!