Lobstermen in Maine are in awe of the now-viral lobster caught last week off the coast of Massachusetts. The oddity is reported to have one monster claw on one side of its body and a joint that sprouted five small appendages on the other. There is no word on its ability to thumb wrestle. The lobster was spared from the boiling kettle of doom and donated to the Maine State Aquarium where it will go on display with other freaks of nature such a bi-colored lobster and a Democrat that prefers to work. Continue reading →
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Court documents unsealed today show that one of the suspects involved in the Aaron Hernandez murder investigation told police that Hernandez admitted to a third man that he shot Lloyd, adding yet another layer to the circumstantial case of champions against the former New England Patriots tight end. The case has fascinated fans and criminal law undergrads for its seemingly endless stream of folly. Lloyd was last seen in car rented by Hernandez, Hernandez was caught on his own home surveillance system getting into the car with a pistol. Hernandez was also known to be upset with Lloyd over a discussion he had with what may have been rival gang members at a night club a few days prior to his murder. This reporter has gained a bit of insight into how that conversation could have enraged Hernandez to the point of murder. It appears that the rival gang members were all wearing NFL jerseys with the name Gronkowski across the back. It may be unrelated, who knows?
In related events Hernandez may share time as wide receiver with his potential new team, the Massachusetts State Corrections Department “Minutemen” semi-pro team. He has also agreed to a contract with a biographer (who shall remain nameless) to chronicle all of his exploits, pitfalls, mistakes and stats from NFL draft until parole in a new book entitled “The Longest Tard.”