Latest re-occurring crisis: US Government will shut down in eight days if no deal is reached

In a surprise to no one who has had a heartbeat in the last several years, the federal government is again at crossroads over the budget. Again we see the usual threats of a government shut down if there is no money to pay the bills- leading to a sure default on the money we owe to people who hate us. It seems the problem lies between the parties being at opposite ends of the spectrum on nearly everything. House Republicans insist that any budget deal come with the repeal of Obamacare- for the 43rd time. Senate Democrats, on the other hand, wish to cure the American people of the various social ills such as working for a living and eradicating rich people- excepting Continue reading

Legal disclosure that I should have made long ago

Dear Readers,

It has occurred to me that, despite my best intentions to bring the most complete, reliable, transparent news blog on this planet (I’ll conquer the rest later), I’ve failed to be as transparent and upfront as I should be. That’s right, I haven’t published a disclosure of pertinent information that explains any conflicts of interest or outside influences that hold sway on what I publish for you guys to ignore. I’m rectifying that right now, I no longer wish to feel like such an Obama. You will now have all the facts, here goes:  Continue reading

Man bakes cake without dirtying every dish in the house- Wife doesn’t believe him

In a story that rocked the nation, a man has made a chocolate cake, and didn’t need twelve hours to clean up. However, this milestone doesn’t come without adversity. In an argument that has led to divorce, his wife claims it is impossible to not to dirty every dish, he is lying and bought the cake, and that she can no longer trust him, which led to their divorce. In a first of its kind, the divorce by jury made headlines and spurred comments that reached to the highest office in the land. The verdict, which found the man did indeed bake the cake, has caused riots, work slowdowns, and bakery closures everywhere. In an apparent effort to quiet the masses- or to spout off about a verdict again- President Obama stated, “You didn’t bake that. It was baked on the backs of many people. And if one man had baked that cake, it would look like a cake I baked. If I had cake, this is what it would be.”  Continue reading