Dave Matthews picked up hitchhiking to his own concert

In what, on the surface, appears to be a “feel good story about a young couple who doesn’t know any better meeting a hero¬©,” Dave Matthews was picked up by concert goers en route to HIS concert and given a ride to the venue. Matthews was riding his bike to the show when he experienced a flat tire. The fans saw him, stopped, and the rest is viral news story/blip on the radar history. What a wonderful story- not. Folks, this is just another case of a major “celebrity” flaunting their disregard of all things “legal.” Hitchhiking is illegal folks, yet where most of us would have a citation waiting for us at the end of the trip, Mr. Matthews enjoys free publicity. Did he really not pack a spare tube or repair kit? Can he not just whip out his phone and call for his limo like the rest of us? It certainly appears HE doesn’t need to. What a shame. This is what our country has come to, celebrity rule- kind of like martial law only with more rehab.

Further, this story reflects the growing issue of profiling that has swept the country, from faux airline pilot names to the ethnicity of a man accused of the murder of an unarmed teen, this has become a real problem in our society. My wife went out to grab the paper this morning, fresh out of the shower, with a towel on her head- three people dove behind their garbage cans. Now she may not exactly shine before her makeup is on but come on folks, she’s not going to suicide bomb anyone’s mailbox.

Further complicating matters is the subject of profiling. Mr. Matthew’s “rock star look” is pretty clean cut and all-American. He looks more like a late 80s John Cougar-Mellencamp or present day Eddie Vetter than a wild rocker. This makes him much more “pickupable¬©,” it appears, than, oh say, a real rock star who looks like a rock star like “Weird Al” Yankovich or Morbid Angel. Profiling has led to civil rights movements, legislation, and the re-election of a certain Arizona sheriff. I guess it remains to be seen if this will add to his teenie bopper image or pull him down like a Bieber in a mosh pit (not much of a life span there).

Dave Matthews (via Google Search):

Slipknot (via Google Search):

You tell me who these “rock fans” were going to pick up.

Reader(s), we have to take our country back from the celebs who dictate what laws do or do not apply to them like a Senator with a Twitter account. This is our land and it is our dollars that we waste to go to the events, be they movies or concerts, that make these people celebrities- except for the Kardashians, and Paris Hilton, nobody’s really sure what’s going on there. Stay strong reader(s), and demand that our rock stars look like freaks and follow the law, the way it should be.

Classifieds 7/14/13

Free puppies-

Free to good home 8 week old mix breeds. 1 male 4 reproducers. Our dog, the mother, is a purebred, champion-bloodline, competition Pomeranian. The father, our neighbor’s dog, is a sneaky, mutt-bastard escape artist. Call for availability 867-5309

Need a commuter car-

ISO- Honda, Toyota, or other economical Japanese car. Must have clean title, no issues, no body damage, sun roof, air conditioning, leather interior, and power everything. Low miles are also a must. I am a poor college girl. Top price $750. Only serious offers will be considered. 987-1234

Wife forces sale-

2005 18′ Blue Water. I/O super-fast, set up to fish, ski, sun bathe and get drunk in. Perfect in every way. No issues. Except the wife forgot to take her pill and now we need a minivan. $5000 or trade for something with sliding doors. No tow rope, I may hang myself with it. 789-4321

Male seeking Female-

Soon to be SWM ISO SWF. Humorous, fun loving, short fat guy who enjoys long, romantic walks to the fridge seeks woman who won’t make him give up writing satire on a free blog to go get a real job. Cooking ability a plus but not necessary. Please include a contract of no job nagging in your response. My name is not Steve #6879

1982 Honda CR 80-

It broke down all the time then, it’ll break down all the time now. But, if you’re one of those guys who thinks everything was better when you were young then is the bike for you- Until you realize you’re too fat to ride it. It’s an antique- $350 678-5432

Yard sale this weekend-

Stupid lazy husband won’t get a job and is trying to replace his wife. He won’t make any money on his blog so his stuff goes on the market while he’s away. Stop by and make an offer on the pile in the driveway. It won’t last long since he’s moving once he gets home. Fri 10-5 Sat 9-4 Steve’s house